I present to you, Cuba's 1st Horror Film, Juan of the Dead!

Here we go.

I personally think it looks amazing. Has a very comedic charm to it while keeping its violent content. Sort of a Shaun of the Dead ripoff, but since Shaun was so great, it's definitely worth ripping off.

I love the SFX and the fact that it looks low budget while not being overly campy. It looks like this might take off imo. Wonder how this holds with the whole embargo, not like it'd matter I suppose, everything finds it's way onto the internet.

Not a fan of the Tour, but this freaking rocks.

Farmers, to pay tribute to the riders of the Tour de France, have decided to set up little murals on each stage, this seems to be the best so far. I for one think it's amazing. Check out the video below for the full effect.

Yao Ming retires.

What a shame, injuries affect yet another could be great of the game. Yao who was the best Center in the game from 2002 - 2007. Howard ended up taking over the reigns, simply because he couldn't stay healthy. At 7'6, Yao was one of those few players who was tall and athletic, but could also hit long range shots at a high rate of success. Yao also helped make the sport popular in the biggest market in the world, China. Due to his success, they have sent over other players to try and carry on the Chinese market in America, most notably Yi, who while not very good, was a result of the success of Yao.

I hope this isn't the last we see of Yao, maybe if he sits out for another year, he might be able to finally heal up and make a comeback. As dominant as he was, it's a shame he could only play 5 games since 08.

He will be missed, a true giant among men.

Deron Williams agrees to play in Turkey if the NBA Lockout continues.

If you don't know who Deron Williams is, then think of the second best player in the league at his position. He's easily a top 20 NBA player, maybe top 15. With him breaking the line and showing he's willing to play anywhere as long as he's playing, you wonder how much leverage the NBA owners really have in the lockout. These Euro country's are notorious for way overpaying mediocre players. What happens when other NBA players jump in line with Williams?

I just hope he doesn't get injured and ruin his career. If this works out, he's going to make a hefty sum for however long the lockout lasts. So props D-Will, proving it's not about money, but about the game.

The difference between NFL Players and every day normal guys.

The every day normal guy proposes by dropping to a knee and proclaiming their love.

NFL Players, namely Roy Williamsthough thinks otherwise. He sent 5k in cash, a video proposing and a 76k ring to a girl who promptly denied the marriage and kept the ring for a few days. How stupid do you feel after that? Not to mention getting lambasted by the media and your peers. How bad do you think he's going to have it when Training Camp starts in a few weeks?

The Girl in question is Ms. Texas, Brooke Daniels.

Being in the USA rocks. You can murder your child and get away with it. Casey Anthony just duped the Judicial System.

This bitch

 

kills this girl 

 realizes she can get off clean

and succeeds

Overall, it's sickening how pathetic our courts system is. You can kill your daughter, forget she exists for a month, be about as dumb as possible, and somehow still win the verdict. The courts are so afraid of making the wrong decision that unless she murdered her daughter in front of each juror, she would have gotten off.

I seriously hope someone on the streets pulls a New Jack City here.

Bad Teacher was oddly tame, but entertaining.

While I enjoyed the movie and thought it was quite funny, I felt the trailers were a bit misleading. First, they made it seem like Diaz was going to be beating kids and stealing their money. I felt Brad Lee Coopers first 5 minutes of Hangover were worse than what Diaz did in the entire 90 minutes of Bad Teacher. Does she use drugs? Sure. Does she drug a testing official? Yes. But overall, she didn't seem much worse than other teachers, especially the ones I encountered in middle and high school. Then there's the fact that Justin Timberlake eclipses Jason Segel's screen time, which is a shame since the trailers sort of showed a love triangle or something. Instead it's more so Segel playing a very side character. Phyllis from The Office has more screen time than him, which is a shame, not so much because of her, but because Segel is a great screen presence.


So the movie goes like this, Diaz is a teacher who's engaged some rich guy who's her sugar daddy, they break up, she has to go back to her old job as a teacher, she gets the idea that if she can get fake breasts, she can meet a new sugar daddy and not have to work. As she's working on paying for her breasts, Timberlake gets a job as a substitute, she finds out that he's loaded and tries to romance him. He's not really interested for some reason or another and instead starts dating the annoying goodie teacher who was the annoying reporter from The Class and the stalker from Dinner for Schmucks. She sucks as per uz, and Diaz tries to screw her over. Hilarity ensues and so on.

Overall, the movie does have a heart, even if its a bit warped. Segel was great for the few moments he was in the film, I found myself being the only person laughing in the theater at certain points, shows me that people dont get quality humor. Diaz while I normally hate her, wasn't that bad. She was actual likeable once the second half of the film hit. The movie also had a great cast of side characters that you should more than recognize.

Not a great comedy, but it was pretty funny and at its brisk pacing, was over in about 90 minutes. In an age of Bridesmaids and other Apatow movies that range from 2 hours to 2.5 hours, this was a nice entertaining movie. It's definitely worth seeing if only for a few hysterical scenes, but if you're just a normal fan of adult comedies, i'm sure you'll find more to enjoy with the movie. It's vulgar, brash, and raunchy, but it's also a good time.

7.5/10

Green Lantern wasn't as terrible as I expected, but not good either.

It was just sorta there. I'm a huge Ryan Reynolds fan. What I mean by that, is I literally love everything he's ever done. From his quirky well cast show "2 Guys, A Girl, And a Pizza Place" or his amazing film, Definitely, Maybe, to even his absolutely awful Just Friends. RR has always made a film much better by being in it. Similar to Nic Cage, another of my favorite actors.

The problem here though, is that RR doesn't help this movie. Green Lantern, while being CGI heavy, and not to bad on the eyes, just wastes the charm and personality of RR. Yea he has his moments,  but the writing and plotting is so atrocious that even RR can't make this worth watching again.

The film starts out with some creature killing a bunch of Lanterns, then changes to another Lantern just chilling in his oddly shaped ship, then getting attacked by the same creature only to escape injured and crash land on Earth. Then it shifts to RR waking up next to some random floozy, darting off to his pilot test and having silly banter with his bosses daughter, who is also his lifelong friend and longtime crush. He ends up screwing things up, almost dying, botching the pilot test thing and being blamed for shutting down a company. He leaves, gets trapped inside a green ball and transported to the alien who gives him the ring, dies, and leaves him to fend for himself.

That's seriously the origin story. In an age of Batman Begins, X-Men: First Class, and Iron Man, we get literally 3 scenes that have little to do with any mythos in the Green Lantern story, then bam, he's a Lantern. That's huge to me. If they don't even care to attempt at creating a story, why should I care about this movie?

So from there, he figures out how to use the Ring and its powers, then it transports him again, to the Lantern HQ which is some giant planet ruled by immortal creators who I guess are responsible for all life. A collection of Gods I suppose. So there RR whines a bit, shows he has zero imagination by thinking of beams and miniguns to train with his ring. Overall, the entire series of scenes to start off the first 30 minutes or so are just flat out silly.

Then we thankfully cut to Peter Sarsgaard who imo steals this movie, despite its heavy setbacks and poor script. He plays another of RR's friends from childhood who also has a crush on the same girl, but instead of taking the route of Pilot like those two, is a science teacher at some either HS or Community College. He gets contacted to perform an autopsy on the crashed Alien and ends up getting infected, making him telepathic and gives him telekinesis. For me, Super Hero movies are more about the villains than the hero itself, since a hero is only as good as his or her opposite. In this case, Sarsgaard is relevant in the story, but just sorta fizzles out at the end.

I won't go any further as to not spoil a very predictable movie, but this really feels like it should easily be another 45 minutes longer. It seemed they set things up, then just ran out of money and ended it where they could. Not really a shame, but I'm sure I would have enjoyed it more if the plot wasn't so rushed. They spent a good 45-50 minutes developing RR, another good 20-25 developing Sarsgaard, then just sorta cut it off. Granted I personally didn't like what was going on during the film, sometimes a great ending can repair a mediocre movie.

Overall, it's a 5/10. It's worth seeing once, but only once.

Watched, Shia and the Tranny's today.

 Now, I'm one of the few who actually enjoyed 2 more than 1 simply because the action was so fun to watch and I went in expecting nothing and in return got about 30 minutes of robots beating the hell out of each other. While this movie is a bit different, in that humans are now the main target of the Decepticons, so you see more of a Terminator esque movie, not Transformers, which was kinda neat I guess. As for the action, it was simply amazing as usual. People (myself included) can hate Transformers all they want, but the movie were some of the greatest achievements in SFX history. What they were able to do in such a realistic approach is simply amazing. This isn't using special techniques like Monsters or District 9, this is just balls to the wall, lets make the best looking action we possibly can with todays technology. 

Now, the movies aren't without their problems outside the action. The writing is pretty god awful, the story literally makes no sense, and the characters range from unbearable to flat out annoying. The characterization is rather funny too. Robots seem to grow mustaches and beards over time like the picture below, they get horny as well as other emotions. It's just silly. I can handle the personalities part, but facial hair growth and humping legs, I'll never understand.

Now, to be fair, it seems Bay toned down the sex craze and other usual Bayisms for a more streamlined movie. Most of the characters didn't eat up screen time like previous movies where it seemed as if there were about 20 main characters who got 30 minutes screen time per. This focused heavily on Shias character and his new Foxless GF. She sucked on or around the same as much as Fox did, they both pull off that annoying blank stare surprisingly well. So while keeping Shia as the main attraction, they allowed his story to play out before moving on to help the Transformers. Not much jumping around, and it seemed more focused. That's not saying it was good by any means, as Shia still sucks and he contributes literally 0 to these films as a whole, but from a writing and directing standpoint, it shows considerable maturity from Bay. Maybe he's actually developing his craft?

In short, the last 45 minutes or so are just wall to wall action with insane set pieces that range from awesome to near mindblowing. The movie is not perfect by any means, but if you enjoy good old eye candy like I do, this movie should not disappoint. My biggest problem though, even with my brain turned off, the freaking movie clocked in at 150 minutes. That seems like a bit too long personally.

8/10

Hollywood at it's current state.

I generally defend Hollywood when people say they've ran out of ideas, but this is one of those instances where I can't possibly defend them. Watch this and tell me how I can possibly play Devil's Advocate on this.

It's literally the same exact movie. Now watching the initial trailers, they seemed to share the same idea, but it could have changed a bit, think Deep Impact and Armageddon, but this is almost a complete remake of a movie that came out 6 months before. I really don't know what to say tbh. Thank you Hollywood.